My Talk

Today I gave a talk in church. Two weeks ago the Bishop called and asked me to speak. Of course I wasn't excited, but I said yes. When he gave me the topic I thought okay sounds good. Then he sent me a beautiful quote by Elder Rasband that touched my heart and made me cry. I knew at that moment I was in trouble. I knew this talk was going to be very personal and close to my heart which would make it difficult to share without shedding many tears. As I prepared I found different thoughts and ideas came to me and reminded me of all the wonderful lessons I have learned through life. I decided to write it last Sunday because I knew during the week I wouldn't have time. I'm glad I did because it was a crazy week. Since I finished last week I read it several times to pratice and not once did I make it through without crying. Again I knew I was in trouble and it was going to be a hard talk to make it through.

This morning I woke up (early thanks to daylight savings) ready, but nervous. I felt as prepared as I could be and just made sure not to forget my talk or box of soft kleenex (yes I said box). I was feeling okay until I sat on the stand and waited for my turn. Did I mention I was the second speaker? I had to wait to the very end which made me more anxious and nervous. As the close of the meeting came upon us I actually was worried that I wouldn't have enough time. We had several announcements and youth recognitions that took up time. The Bishop had to ask the speaker before me to conclude before she was done and we skipped the intermediate hymn just so I could have time. All of this made me even more nervous and I didn't know if I would have time. I knew my talk was 13 minutes without a lot of crying so I tried my best and took a lot of deep breathes. Of course I was emotional and cried, but I didn't completely fall apart which I was grateful for. I did go a little long, but the Bishop forgave me. As soon as I was done and sat down I felt relieved and I was told by one of my friends I had a huge smile on my face.

Since many of you weren't there I want to share my talk with you. I also want to have it saved in my blog book when I print it up next year. So here it is. To set the mood just imagine me, gripping the podium tightly with both hands, shaking a little, and starring at my paper as I read it word for word.

How Life’s Experiences Help to Prepare us for the Eternities

My talk is on “How Life’s Experiences Help to Prepare Us for the Eternities”. The Savior Jesus Christ made it possible for us to live again. When we die it is not the end. We will live again. In Moses 1:29 the Savior said, “This is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.” We have all been given the gift of immortality, the blessing of living forever as a resurrected being, but Eternal Life or the blessing of living in God’s presence with our families requires effort on our part. In 2 Nephi 31:16 we learn what we must do to prepare to qualify for Eternal Life: “And now, my beloved brethren, I know by this that unless a man shall endure to the end, in following the example of the Son of the living God, he cannot be saved.” So we need to endure to the end and try to be like Jesus.

Sometimes enduring can be hard. Life is not always easy, but this is part of the plan. We are here on this earth to learn, grow and prepare to return to our Heavenly Father. I want to share a couple quotes that help us know that life experiences, good or bad, are part of the plan. The first is by Elder Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles:
“In this life we experience tenderness, sorrow, disappointment, pain, and even physical limitations in ways that prepare us to live again with our Father in Heaven. There are lessons we must learn and experiences we must have on earth.”

The second quote is by Elder Ronald Rasband of the Presidency of the Seventy:
“Our personal journey through life provides us with many special experiences that become building blocks of faith and testimony. These experiences come to us in vastly different ways and at unpredictable times. They can be powerful spiritual events or small enlightening moments. Some experiences will come as serious challenges and heavy trials that test our ability to cope with them. No matter what the experience may be, each gives us a chance for personal growth, greater wisdom, and, in many cases, service to others with more empathy and love. As the Lord stated to the Prophet Joseph Smith in a reassuring way during one of his most significant trials at Liberty Jail, “All these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good” (D&C 122:7).”

Since we are all individuals we all have different life experiences. We are born with different strengthens and weaknesses and need to learn different things. It is comforting to know Heavenly Father knows us individually by name. He knows what we need and how each of us needs to learn it. He gives us experiences throughout our life to help us return unto Him.

As I thought about my life I have noticed many experiences or building blocks that have helped me be where I am today. My first choice would not be standing at the pulpit giving this talk, but I am glad my experiences have lead me to this church and have strengthened my testimony. Some of these experiences were small, quiet, and joyful. Others lasted years and caused deep pain and sorrow. Even though my life has brought me a variety of experiences I cherish each of them because what I gained.

I want to share a few of my experiences and what I’ve learned. Again, I know we all have vastly different life experiences, but I hope as I share my experiences with you, you will remember what strength and knowledge you have received.

I did not grow up in the Church. I was raised Catholic. As a child I went to church regularly, attended catechism, had family prayer during meals, and read from a Children’s Bible. As I got older and life became busier many of these things were not given priority. I had a wonderful family, felt loved, and was happy. I didn’t realize anything was missing and wasn’t actively searching for the truth.

Then one day during my senior year in high school my dear friend called me on the phone and asked me a very important question. She wanted to know if I would like to learn more about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints from the missionaries. I didn’t think much about it and thought, “why not.”

As I began to listen to the missionaries something changed. The things they were sharing with me about the gospel made sense and made me feel good. I started reading the scriptures and praying and that made me happy. As our discussions went on I learned about the Holy Ghost and how it is a light and comforter and I began to recognize the spirit in my life. As I attended church, read the scriptures, and prayed I felt the spirit through a great sense of peace and happiness. Then at the end of a missionary discussion I was asked to read, Moroni 10:4-5 and pray to know if the Church is true. That night I read the scriptures, knelt down by my bed and said a prayer to Heavenly Father. During that prayer I came to know without a doubt the Church of Jesus Christ is the true Church. I felt the spirit and had an overwhelming sense of peace and joy. I am grateful for that experience because it is the first building block of my testimony. It is something I will never forget and still use as the foundation of my faith.

Through this experience I also learned about fasting and faith. My dear friend later told me she was guided by the spirit to talk to me after fasting. Her family fasted to help find someone to share the gospel with. I don’t think she ever would have guessed it would be me or that I would join the Church. I am grateful for her faith and having courage to follow the spirit’s prompting.

The next experience I want to share is about Gridley. Some of you might know this little town north of here. It is where Rich grew up and where his parents still live. After graduating from BYU we moved in with Rich’s parents. We thought it would be short term, but ended up being about 2 years. Most of you might think this is going to be one of those painful experiences, but it’s not. Living with my in-laws was a true blessing and lead to many building blocks in my testimony.

When we moved to Gridley I had been a member of the Church for 5 years and married to Rich for 2 years. I was still young in the gospel and had a lot to learn. While staying with my in-laws I was able to learn from their example. I watched them organize regular family prayer and have weekly FHE. I saw them study the scriptures, read the Ensign, and take notes during General Conference. I enjoyed having gospel discussions over Sunday meals and feeling the sweet spirit in their home.

All these experiences were small moments in time, but helped me develop better personal habits and prepared me to teach Ava. Now I read the scriptures daily and pray regularly. As a family we read the scriptures each night, say family prayers, and have FHE. We also love to sing the Hymns and music from the Children’s Songbook. I’m far from perfect and there have been times I fell asleep reading my scriptures or forgot to prepare FHE, but I make sure the next day I get back on track and keep going. I am grateful for my in-laws example. I am grateful I have developed these habits because by making these changes my testimony has grown.

The last experience I want to talk about is the most painful & heartbreaking thing I have gone through so far. It is also the greatest learning time in my life. Many of you know Rich and I adopted Ava and that we waited almost 3 years for her. During those 3 years we had a lot of tough times and dark days. But in the midst of the darkness I found light and hope in the gospel.

As I waited for Ava to arrive I learned about service, temple work, and the power of prayer. I was able to serve as a part-time service missionary at Church Distribution. I found joy in helping others and hearing their sweet stories about going to the temple. I found peace in attending the temple regularly and a greater understanding of the Plan of Salvation.

I also learned to use the power of prayer more often in my life. Instead of praying morning, night, and at meals, I learned to pray whenever I needed help or guidance. I learned I could rely on the Lord for comfort and strength. In 2007 Elder Scott gave an amazing talk entitled “Using the Supernal Gift of Prayer”. When I heard his talk I felt like he was talking directly to me. His words pierced my heart and lifted me up. From his talk I learned to change the way I pray. He said, “A key to improved prayer is to learn to ask the right questions. Consider changing from asking for things you want to honestly seeking what He wants for you.” At that moment I started to seek for guidance during pray and try to figure out what was Heavenly Father’s will for me. It didn’t make my challenges disappear it just helped me to approach life in a more humble and positive way.

The greatest lesson I learned came during the darkest moment of this trial. Several months before Ava was born we had a failed adoption. We thought it was going to be the happiest time of our life. I celebrated an early Mother’s Day and was ready to be a mom. I thought at long last my prayers were being answered. When I received the phone call that the birth mom changed her mind, I was devastated, heart-broken, and angry. Even though I was surrounded by many people that loved me I felt alone. I didn’t think that anything could take away the pain I was feeling. That is when I felt the Love of the Savior in my Life stronger than ever. As I said many prayers during the following weeks I realized I was not alone. I knew the Savior loved me. I knew He understood my pain. I knew through his love and strength I would be okay and I was. It still hurt for a long time, but I never was alone and whenever I prayed I instantly felt the peace and comfort of the Savior’s love. Through that trial I was able to gain a stronger and more powerful testimony of the Savior’s atonement and his love for me. I learned I was not alone and that I could trust in the Lord.

As I began to heal and find comfort in the Lord I recalled another part of Elder Scott’s talk. He quotes D&C 88: 64: “Whatsoever ye ask the Father in my name it shall be given unto you, that is expedient for you.” At that time I didn’t quite understand the purpose of the failed adoption, but I short time later it became clear. We met Ava’s birth mom 2 weeks later and in January we became parents. I know Ava was meant to be my daughter and all the experiences we went through confirm that to me. Heavenly Father knew I needed her. Even though I didn’t know the outcome when we started the adoption process I am grateful for all we went through. The hard times just made my testimony stronger. And the joy of having Ava was worth all the pain I went through.

During many of my life experiences I did not realize I was collecting building blocks for my testimony. Most of the time when I was in the moment I had a hard time seeing past that moment, but now looking back, hindsight being 20/20, I see how these experiences have strengthened my testimony and faith in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. These experiences have helped me to grow and become a better person. I think they are helping me on my journey back to Heavenly Father. I know I am nowhere near perfect and have a lot more to learn. That is why I am grateful for Heavenly Father’s perfect plan. He has made it possible for us to continue to learn and grow in this life. He gave us the Savior who was willing to atone for our sins and made it possible for us to repent. I am grateful to know if we do our parts and endure to the end faithfully the Savior will make up the rest.

I want to end with other quote by Elder Rasband:
In these days of worldly intrusions into our lives, when trials and difficulties may seem to engulf us, let us remember our own special spiritual experiences. These building blocks of faith will bring us conviction and reassurance of a caring, loving Father in Heaven, of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and of Their restored true and living Church.

**I didn't really have time to conclude properly or share my testimony because time ran out, so I want to do that now. I know the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the true church. I know the scriptures are the word of God and can help guide us in this life. I know Heavenly Father loves each of us and wants us to live with Him again. I know he gave us a plan to return to Him. I know the Savior loves us and will help us. I am grateful for His teachings and perfect example. I know if I follow in His footsteps I will be happy here on Earth and will be able to have Eternal life. I know the Savior atoned for my sins and made it possible for me to repent. I know He knows my pain and sorrow and knows how to comfort me. I have felt His love in my life many times and I know I am never alone. This knowledge has brought me great peace and happiness.

I am grateful for my wonderful family. I was blessed to be raised by kind and loving parents that have always supported me. I am grateful they allowed me to make the decision to be baptized and have always been supportive regarding the church. They have taught me a lot about being a loving parent and have helped me be a better mom.

Lastly, I am grateful for my husband and my sweet little Ava. I love my family and they are the center of my world. I am grateful we are sealed in the temple for time and all eternity. I want nothing more than to be with them forever. They bring me great joy and make me strive to be a better person.

I know I am blessed and the gospel as helped me to realize it. The gospel gives me peace, hope, and the desire to do what is right. For all these things I am grateful, in the name of Jesus Christ Amen.